Family together time

Dad. And Mum. On the 250 cc Yezdi. Taking two little kids (Sam and me) out on a long ride. To the Madras Airport. And just spending time there - watching planes land and take-off. Awesome! It fills me with a sense of pride when I look back on such whacky "outings" my parents have provided us with. In today's world, where all people can think of for "hanging out" is a mall, this thought-train seems quite far-fetched. But it's something that Smitha and I have learnt to do quite well - going out doesn't necessarily mean dressing up, pulling out all the stops and a reservation at a fancy restaurant (we do that too, occasionally). We have long rides on the highway with a stop for chaai (tea) from a roadside shop; we've got paani poori outings and window-shopping trips. We also throw in the freak, impromptu 10.00 pm film watching routine into the mix. Walking around in Mathikere for Kulfi, just simply chilling on the terrace are also part of the deal. All this - cos Mum and Dad showed us by example that time together for a family can be had through a variety of means. Dad introduced us to the Litchi fruit during one of those outings. Dosa from the Dosa King (instant dosa making machine!) at the Central station was a must-eat if we went to the station. There are many, many such instances and "things" which became "stuff that the Herberts do". Most of such things have ceased to be today; but their memories linger in the warmth of our hearts. And hopefully, this warmth would remain as long as we remain on this mortal plane and provide us moments of comfort during the cold, lonely storms that life tosses in our direction. For these memories - all of them - thanks Mum, Dad and Sam. I am blessed.

Family film time

Our family has been one that has unabashedly watched plenty of good films in the theater. Right from ancient classics in the late 80s to many family films in the 90s - our parents would take us to the theater. I can clearly remember watching Aladdin, Jurassic Park, Dennis the Menace and several other films in the 1990s and the 2000s. A story I've repeated numerous times is worth repeating once more - two nights before my Higher Secondary Computer Science exam, my parents took my bro and I for the night show (10.00 pm) at Satyam theater (it was well worth it; we watched The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring). There have been plenty of relationships that have been forged and melded during these theater times - our "bro" family, the Elangos, started becoming what they are to us today (in my opinion) with the viewing of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. There have been film marathons in Maayajaal with Sam T annan and Remo annan and other such "together" times with other friends and family. Time and again, somebody raises the question "Isn't it wrong to watch films?" or the perfectly nonsensical "Isn't it wrong to go to the Theater?" I'm not going to debate on that right now - I just want everyone to know that I really have cherished those family film times with all that popcorn and coke that's been consumed. I've had a pretty amazing childhood, and many of these family film times are part of the fondest memories of that childhood. So thanks to Mum, Dad and Sam for making up these memorable times.

My family stands by me

Note: There are a million (maybe more) times that my family has stood by me. I'm just recounting one incident which clearly highlighted this fact and double-underlined it, beyond a shadow of a doubt.

There was a stike in my college (CSI CE, Ketti) in February, 2005. I was in my third year, and I was in the thick of things - including being a part of the student committee (selected by the management) shouldering the responsibility of working things out with the management. When third year completed and I was waiting to get back to my final year at college, a bomb dropped. The college sent a letter to my Dad asking him to meet with the Principal regarding my "admission" into college that year. They also spoke to a close family friend in Ooty, and informed him that they should look out for me in other colleges. We were like "Huh, what?!" So Dad, Mum and I made the trip to Ketti. Sam joined us along the way (from Bangalore) and the three of them went in to meet the Principal. When I was called in a bit later, it was not me in the hot seat - our dear Principal was being asked questions by my Dad, my Mum and my brother (with all his knowledge of corporate functioning, he had some choice questions for the Principal). Basically, the Principal was hurt that I had asked him a few honest questions and informed him of a few honest student opinions. Little did he know that calling my family would give him bigger, more questioning versions of me. I'm not gloating or boasting. Simply put, this incident left a strong sense of "My family stands by me!" inside me. My parents didn't scold me (atleast as much as I expected them to) and they did not mention even once that they had been called all the way to college and that this could have been a shameful affair. When you comfortably know that your family is rocking right beside you and with you, everything else in the world seems small. Thanks to Dad, Mum and Sam for being that rocking family. Yaiy!

Emotionally scarred and wanting

If you've been following closely the stuff I write in this blog, you can make out that my parents are generally "nice" people. Where my Dad has gone the extra mile, in his ministry-related work and in his relationships with people - is to literally pour himself out for someone in need. As his son, I've seen plenty of instances of such things over the years. There have been urgent calls for him in the middle of the night; there have been calls for him to come to another city totally, to help with situations and emotionally encumbered persons; there have been school principals calling on him for assistance; there have been scary "fight" situations that he's been called to defuse; there have been broken relationships that he has been called to mend; there have been families that have taken his advice and help to bond together. For every single call or request, my Dad responds with full force. It's like the Indian Army appearing in full force to save just a single man caught behind the LOC across the border. Every time. All the time. It's never been easy being the son of such a man - but it does help when I look at my own life and see tiny tiny bits of me being poured out into others' lives. I don't run to others at midnight, or get called away to other cities to solve intense emotional issues; but what I do do, is try to address the emotional needs of people around me which I see - as best I can. For this, my Dad is the cause. Thanks, Dad.

Hanging out with the Elangos

I still clearly remember this - I was on the phone from Ketti (where I went to college) with my parents in Madras sometime before I visited home in March, 2006. We were making plans to catch The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe at the Satyam theater during my visit. Suddenly, I heard the most unbelievable thing - we were going for the film with the Elangos. My mind went WHAT?! I mean, these outings to the theater were a family tradition - our family has seen tonnes of films in the theater as a family, and we rarely have gone out with other families during these outings. To include a group of four people that I barely knew, was slightly too much for my college-going self to take. Sure, Mrs. Elango (Joan miss) had been my teacher and all in school, and she was a great teacher and my parents visited their house once in a while - but since when did we start hanging out with the Elangos?!?!? Thankfully, I just went with the whole idea and I'm glad I did. More than five years later, there have been numerous hours shared and bits of lives exchanged between the Herberts and the Elangos. If you know how "together" two guys can get in hostel (find one, you'll find the other types), then you'll know how "together" the Herberts and the Elangos are generally. What strikes me is that my Mum and Dad, in the waning years of their lives, have what it takes to invest in a full-fledged, family-to-family intertwining relationship. Them having what it takes to do that has given me (and the rest of the Herberts) four unique and love-to-spend-time-with people. Thanks, Mum. Thanks, Dad.